From Celebrex to Levitra & back again. (True Stories)

Today, I worked ten hours at the pharmacy.

Highlights include the woman who didn't have her insurance card and didn't know her birthday, so I had the task of maneuvering Caremark's help-desks to figure out which of 5 bin numbers she was listed under knowing only her name and address....yessss.

Also the woman who called telling me about her "diarrhear"....barf barf. If any of you are unaware, I'm not a medical professional. I don't know what to do for you over the phone, nor am I a doctor. I safely and accurately dispense exactly what your doctor prescribes, or of course the generic equivalent which is supposed to be covered by your plan for a $5 copay, but am I sure it's the same medication? yes I'm sure.. well why does it look so different? Does it have the same stuff in it? Yes it does. How do you know? It says so and it's regulated by the FDA! Good gracious....

I don't want to hear about why you got your vasectomy (true story), E.D., or hemorrhoids. Yes, I can see when you've last gotten your vicoden. I know that you've been getting it from a two different doctors in different towns and that you go to different pharmacies paying cash.... True story, I've caught 7 drug abusers who are now in jail.

Also true story, I once caught a nurse who was using her nurse practitioner's lisence to write alprazolam (Xanax)prescriptions for a chemo patient under her care who was a shut in. She got them filled under his name, & when the prescription ran out of refills, I called the house to inform him. A Hospice lady picked up the phone and told me he has never ever been on alprazolam before. It ended up that this nurse practitioner was taking the alprazolam.... She is in jail.

I love my job, but I don't love seeing people sick, or abusing. I love doing whatever I can to get a drug covered or get it done as fast as I can so you can go home as soon as you can. I love being good at what I do, but good gracious don't tell me about your anal blockage.

I will ralph.